6 Things Dating Teaches Us About Money
Bad date last night? Don’t despair. It’s not as bad as you may think. Here’s some good news: you may not know it, but when it comes to your money, that bad date can teach you an awful lot about successful investing.

Think I’m joking? Think again. Although I was a far cry from being the King of Dating, I did have a few occasional lucky streaks in me. And looking back over those rare few times, my moderate success on the dating circuit did teach me quite a few things about prudent investing.
Here’s a few quick examples…
1) DON’T JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER
Dating: The guy was over a half-hour late, his outdated shirt barely matched his Taco Bell stained pants, the rain gave him a lethal dose of bed-head and back then the busboy was making more than he was. If that wasn’t bad enough, his humor was a bit stale and the car he drove had a weird putter that attracted nothing but aliens from the evil Planet X. While at first the girl thought it was going to be a dinner date from fiery hell, little did she realize that guy was I, and I’d soon wind up being the one she’d marry.
Investing: The receptionist was sure nice, but the carpets were dull and the musty furniture reminded you of grandma’s place in Brooklyn. You were ready to take your money to that Private Wealth Management Firm — the one with the white marble staircase and baby grand — but when the well-mannered financial advisor appeared, you figured you’d be courteous and give him a few minutes of your time. A little into his pitch, you were most pleasantly surprised when he touted low cost, tax efficient investments with attractive rates of return that perfectly matched your goals. It was then you realized there’s a reason the furniture in his place is a bit out-dated, mainly, because the guy most certainly isn’t paying for it out of your own pocket.
Lesson Learned: First impressions can easily get the best of us. Whether it’s a date or your money, taking a step back to peek behind the curtain will typically put both your money and heart in a much better place.
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2) COSTS COUNT
Dating: She liked Dylan Thomas, idolized Ginsberg, despised the conformists and was clinically depressed that she missed last year’s Monterey Pop Music Festival. The perfect 10 from down in the Village strummed an acoustic, wrote poetry and even donated your favorite Levis to a homeless guy on the street. While at first lust got the best of you, months after helping her pay the rent, her organic meals and for all those Warhol movies you pretended to like, you were finally worn out, leading you realize that when it comes to dating, costs most definitely do count.
Investing: The mutual fund was barely moving. Five years into it, you just couldn’t quite figure out why you weren’t making much money. Then, one fine day, you wisely took the time to research the fees you were paying, only to realize the fund was charging you well over 5% per year in annual costs and causing you all sorts of taxes.
Lesson Learned: When it comes to investing and dating, costs most definitely do count. Taking the time to evaluate how much you’re paying for your dates and funds is an essential part of anyone’s success.
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3) IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE COMPLICATED FOR IT TO BE EFFECTIVE
Dating: For many people, the best dates are the simple ones such as times spent on the couch during a cold winter night, wearing soft flannel pajamas under a fluffy blanket watching a classic Bogart movie with, of course, hot green tea and a hearty bag of Fritos nearby. While dining at Nobu certainly has its place in time, looking back on all the great dates we’ve had most likely reminds us it’s the simple ones that scored the best.
Investing: When it comes to investing, many of the most successful investors I’ve helped are those with the simplest portfolios. On the other end of the spectrum are investors that spend every waking hour chasing returns, analyzing complicated charts, dissecting corporate balance sheets or scouring the market on a daily basis searching endlessly for a perfect buy.
Lesson Learned: There are roughly 15,000 mutual funds in the country with approximately two professional fund managers each. Of those 30,000-ish fund managers, guess how many have beat the static, mindless S&P 500 index more than ten years in a row? Answer…? …. Get this: Just one. The legendary Bill Miller from Legg Mason. Undeniable statistics prove that the S&P typically out-performs over 80% of managed mutual funds year after year, leading the sharp ones to realize that when it comes to efficient and successful investing, it rarely has to be complicated for it to be effective.
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4) CUT THE LOSERS, RIDE THE WINNERS
Dating: The first handful of dates were the stuff legends are made of, but by the time mid terms rolled around, Crazy Mindy crashed my college roommate’s car, emptied his bank account, torched his classic Dark Side of the Moon poster, caused him to miss the Macro Economics final and managed to give him one very fat lip. By the time graduation took place, my roommate ended up blowing his entire senior year trying to turn Crazy Mindy into the person she once appeared to be.
Investing: On paper, the company looked like a true winner. Not only was the stock going through the roof but even Madonna used its products. At first the investment took off, but no thanks to a deadbeat CEO and a few federal regulations tossed in, the stock began its perpetual downward spiral. Convinced it would come back, you held on, only to wake up realizing you would have been far better off giving Crazy Mindy your money to invest.
Lesson Learned: Crazy Mindy could care less about my roommate and likewise, stocks could care less about you. They don’t know who you are and only you can fall in love with them. Love or money, when something isn’t working, get out. Just cut the losses, move on and live to fight another day. The quicker you do that, the better things typically turn out.
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5) DON’T GIVE IT UP ON THE FIRST DATE
Dating: Dinner at The Palm was better than if your Mets won another Series. The guy made you laugh, he held the door and a Grey Goose made him look like Brad Pitt. But back at your place, just as the room sweltered to high noon out on the Serengeti, your mother’s voice politely whispered to you, “Not on the first date.” Wisely, you pushed back and let something important called “time” nurture the relationship.
Investing: The financial advisor seemed like a nice guy. He showed you attractive rates of return, sported a Tom Cruise smile and even served cappuccino in fancy bone china with lace doilies to match. So you rolled the entire 401k into an IRA, only to later realize it cost you a huge upfront commission on high fee investments that caused you nothing but losses to boot.
Lesson learned: Treat your money like you’d treat your body: Don’t give it up on the first date. Taking time to nurture a relationship will not only make your mother proud, but it will certainly provide you with one of the most important keys to financial and dating success.
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6) DIVERSIFICATION IS THE KEY TO SUCCESS
Dating: Adam looked like Alan, Alan acted like Arnold, Arnold smelled like Arnie and Arnie reminded you of Alex. And just when you thought you found the Perfect-A, Aden stood you up just like Albert and Abe once did (or was that Alfonse or Aaron?). It was then, in one fleeting moment of revelation, you finally realized the problem had nothing to you, but everything to do with guys whose first names start with the letter “A.”
Investing: Dot-coms. … Late 90s. … Need I say more?
Lesson Learned: Diversifying your investments is a critical key to investment success. Load up in one sector or stock and it’s not a question of if disaster will strike, it’s usually a question of when. Spread the risk, diversify your investments into the prudent, timeless fundamental asset classes and of far more importance, consider dating guys whose names start with anything but the letter A.
CONCLUSION
Bad date? Who cares? Next time something doesn’t turn out so well, simply shake hands with your date and thank them for making you a richer person.
After all, when it comes to love and money, hopefully here you’ve learned that at the end of the day, it’s all very much the same.
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August 16th, 2007 at 3:17 pm
Great article! I wish I read this before I went out with my last girlfriend though!
August 16th, 2007 at 3:29 pm
Nice, solid advice for both dating and investing.
August 16th, 2007 at 3:37 pm
Diversification does not bring you riches, as it’s only a safety net for the less informed. Specialization, taking a chance, is how you become truly wealthy.
August 16th, 2007 at 4:08 pm
Just stick with the budget, and also do not be a miser. Well, a date is still a date, always live to impress, and I am sure that you want your date to impress and be impressed with you too. Don’t be overly concerned with money matter, that’s what I believe.
August 16th, 2007 at 5:08 pm
Some women tend to want and want and want. The question is … what are they willing to give? So, after the first date … ask yourself .. what does she bring to the Party? This goes right alone with a new book I am writing in response to the book “He’s Just Not That Into You” … which every girl on Match.com has read (along with the Di Vince Code). The name of my book: “What Does She Bring To The Party”
Related to investing as such: Before making a decision … execute the due diligence!
jd
August 16th, 2007 at 5:58 pm
There is only one rule in dating: Any woman, no matter how hot, will sleep with any guy, if he has enough money.
August 16th, 2007 at 6:03 pm
When dating women you have the following choices:
-available
-good looking
-sane
Select which two (and only two) of the three you would like.
August 16th, 2007 at 9:23 pm
The issue of dating is, as a female friend once said: “women are too busy trying to empty a man’s wallet, and men are too busy trying to get into a girl’s pants.” Moral of the story is that all women are hookers. Romance only exists in Hollywood movies; in real life a woman is interested in wining and dining and if can you provide her the comforts of life. ie a home and financial security. The IQ level between a moron and a rocket scientist is equal when it comes to bedroom activities. In life there is no such creature as a voluptuous dumb blonde. What they lack in intelligence they make up for in sex appeal. On the first date take her to a coffee shop and work out what she is really after. Leave emotions out of it; living life is a business. Once the business goes bankrupt only then you will know the true value of friendship and money.
August 16th, 2007 at 10:31 pm
my name begins with an A.
now, chicks don’t date me because of your article.
August 17th, 2007 at 4:55 am
To Nicholas: What Warren Buffett said was “Wide diversification is only required when investors do not understand what they are doing.” Wide diversification, say being in 30+ different stocks, will necessarily limit your returns. This is not to say that diversification in principle is for the less informed. Cue another Buffett quote: “Rule No.1: Never lose money. Rule No.2: Never forget rule No.1″
August 17th, 2007 at 8:01 am
[…] 6 Things Dating Teaches Us About Money - [AlanHaft] digg_url = ‘http://www.lifehack.org/articles/money/6-money-lessons-learned-from-dating.html’; ( function() { var ds=typeof digg_skin==’string’?digg_skin:”; var h=80; var w=52; if(ds==’compact’) { h=18; w=120; } var u=typeof digg_url==’string’?digg_url:(typeof DIGG_URL==’string’?DIGG_URL:window.location.href); document.write(”"); } )() Author: Craig Childs Posted: Friday, August 17th, 2007 at 8:00 am Tags: investment Bookmark or Share this with a friend! […]
August 17th, 2007 at 2:09 pm
I thought this was a very practical and amusing article that can help me.
August 17th, 2007 at 11:35 pm
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August 18th, 2007 at 12:01 pm
what a beautiful and also a thoghtful article. They should teach this gem in the school. Lack of financial literacy is the public enemy number 1 in America. You, my dear blogger live long and entertain us again and again.
thank you again for the superb article.
August 18th, 2007 at 12:22 pm
Good, funny article. Even the diversification one, although some people may see it negatively, when it comes to both dating and money diversifying in the beginning is the good way to go. Just like when you start dating not everyone you meet will be “the one” and investing too much time and money on someone you don’t know anything about is a very bad strategy. Once you have tried a few, know what you’re after, what you are comfortable with and what you like, then you can focus your efforts into what’s more likely to give you a better return. Who knows? Maybe you’ll find “the one”.
August 18th, 2007 at 12:30 pm
I think there ARE women who just want and want and want, and a lot of men who advertise that THEY want a glamorous, top shelf super or swimsuit model, and yet they don’t want to share the costs of keeping her up to that level, even though they don’t bother with that stuff for themselves. Men SHOULD pay for dates, (sorry, I’m old fashioned) but as a relationship progresses, women should help with other costs and eventually contribute equally. That said, some of my best dates have been walking through parks and getting ice cream at the beach, and camping out there, too. I love to just have coffee or watch a video and discuss it over a meal or dessert. Any man can do that, and if his personality is right for her, it will work. Bed head doesn’t bother me, but the bad breath of a man who hasn’t seen a dentist in 5 years does. PS. Gentlemen, please stop trying to only date women in their 20s no matter how old YOU are, it will give you a lot more options. A lot of us are pretty happening, and we want a guy who is responsible enough with money to not be a burden, but he doesn’t have to be an owner of a hockey team to impress us. Sometimes just a well-chosen kitchen table will do the trick.
August 21st, 2007 at 9:01 am
Loved your article. If you make bad decision in love and marry a bum and your friend tells you that and you don’t listen It just like buying stocks or shares and knowing they are not going to increase but you like name of the company.
You must be objective in love and money or it will cost you!
Alex
www.HomeLifeWeekly.com
August 21st, 2007 at 4:21 pm
That was lovely.
Keep on writing articles like this. You’ll for sure have me reading.
August 29th, 2007 at 9:02 pm
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September 11th, 2007 at 10:48 am
Nice article. Hope it can be helpful to my new relationship with a hottie from Meetrich.com